Because of their teen’s new physical abilities parents may develop a sense of competitiveness in areas where their teen is beginning to surpass them.Parents may worry about their child’s new physical maturity and its consequences (like sexual behavior and pregnancy) they may become uncomfortable with their teenage daughter’s revealing clothes or worry about their teen’s romantic pursuits.Parents, unknowingly, may become jealous of their teen’s attractiveness and sexuality, while longing for their youthful past.IMPLICATIONS for the Parent-Teen Relationship What might this mean for the parent-teen relationship? These contrasting developmental differences can sometimes, perhaps unconsciously, lead to tensions and concerns. So, as teens begin moving into a period of peak physical ability, sexuality and attractiveness, mid-life parents are beginning their decline in these areas. Parents may begin to recognize that they are no longer as strong and agile as they once were. Mothers may be anticipating menopause and the end of the reproductive years. They may start having concerns about their diminished sex appeal and attractiveness. In contrast, midlife parents are often beginning to experience clear signs of aging: weight gain, hair loss, cellulite and graying hair. This usually leads to an interest in romantic relationships and a new preoccupation with their body and appearance. They get bigger and stronger, develop secondary sex characteristics like breasts (in girls), beards (in boys), pubic hair and become sexual creatures with the ability to reproduce. One of the most obvious changes is the physical growth and maturity that teens experience beginning with puberty. Consider the following areas of development and how parents and teens often differ: These differences can also have consequences for how parents relate to their teens. These diverging paths are one of the reasons why parents and teens frequently don’t see eye-to-eye, causing stress and sometimes even conflict in the family.

One of the things that makes these changes interesting - and challenging - is that mid-life parents and their teenage children are often changing in ways that are opposite to one another. Often overlooked is the fact that parents are also experiencing significant changes of their own. We usually think of the teen years as a period of major changes in our children.

Impromptu Scribe by Alex Morritt